Are You in a Controlling Relationship?

If these statements are true about your relationship, you might be in a controlling relationship.

Toxic relationships can sneak up on almost anyone. And controlling behavior on the part of a partner knows no boundaries—people of any age, gender, sexual orientation or socioeconomic status can be in controlling relationships, playing either role.


Controlling people use a whole arsenal of tools in order to dominate their partners— whether they or their partners realize what's happening or not. Sometimes, the emotional manipulation is complex enough that the person who is being controlled actually believes that they themselves are the villain, or that they are extremely lucky that their controlling partner "puts up" with them. Whether controlling behavior leads to more severe emotional or physical abuse or not, it is not a healthy situation. If you notice more than a couple of these signs within your relationship or your partner, take it seriously.1


If ANY of the following statements that are true about your relationship, you might be in a controlling relationship. If you’re in a relationship that is more about control than about mutual respect, mutual support, and mutual care take back control of yourself and your life. Do what you need to do to extricate yourself safely. We can help you.

To talk about your concerns and/or get help contact 888-981-1457 or click here and talk to someone live RIGHT NOW 24/7.

  • My partner has used physical force against me or people or animals I love.
  • My partner calls me names and makes me feel bad about myself.
  • My partner gets angry if I wear certain clothes or hang out with certain people.
  • My partner always wants to know what I am doing and with whom I am spending my time.
  • My partner isolates me from my friends and family.
  • My partner prevents me from acquiring a job at all.
  • My partner threatens me and/or people or animals whom I love.
  • My partner controls all the finances and does not let me become involved.
  • My partner has caused problems with my job or schooling, such as causing me to be late, taking away my car, or otherwise impairing my ability to work like I used to.
  • My partner forces me to engage in sexual activities or other things with which I am not comfortable.
  • My partner throws things, punches walls, or engages in other physical actions against inanimate objects to intimidate me.
  • My partner says that it is my fault that we fight or that they are angry.
  • My partner acts sweet after fights, apologizes and promises to never go off like that again, but it happens all the time.
  • My partner makes me feel anxious, and I am very careful around them so as not to set them off.
  • My partner teases and criticizes me in front of others.
  • My partner makes me feel like I will never be good enough.
  • My partner doesn’t listen to me or respect my opinions. Conversations and arguments are one sided.
  • My partner acts extremely jealous, without reason or in exaggerated amounts, with regard to people of my sexual preference, such as coworkers and old friends.
  • My partner makes excuses for their behavior, such as stress, work, my behavior, drinking, or others.
  • My partner wants to make all the important decisions with little or no input from me.
  • My partner threatens to engage in behaviors such as self harm if I leave.